The Why and How of Forgiveness

"Father, forgive them, for they do not know what they are doing"-Luke 23:34

Christian worship finds its most profound expression through the one and only prayer that Jesus taught His disciples , distinctly named as The Lord’s Prayer. In a few short sentences, it combines praise and worship with entreaties for spiritual and material fulfilment, and deliverance. However, one request stands out distinctly from the rest. Taken from its biblical source, it reads

“ And forgive us our debts, as we also have forgiven our debtors.”-Matthew 6:12

The appeal for forgiveness of sins is preceded by a condition that assumes that we have similarly forgiven our debtors. Why did the Lord make our salvation conditional to our commitment to forgive those who wrong us? Afterall, forgiveness does not find a place among the ten commandments that Moses received from God the Father. In fact the Old Testament follows the “eye for eye, tooth for tooth” dictum -Lev 24:20.  It was Jesus who converted that into an uncompromising and unconditional command to forgive one’s adversary, referring to the very same quote from Leviticus. –“You have heard that it was said, ‘Eye for eye, and tooth for tooth.’ But I tell you, do not resist an evil person. If anyone slaps you on the right cheek, turn to them the other cheek also.”- Mat 5:38-40

The answer to our question on the conditional clause in the Lord’s Prayer is to be found on Mount Calvary, where Jesus gave up His life “as a ransom for many”. Even though Adam and Eve lost their rightful inheritance in Paradise, God the Father never left His beloved people. By and large, people turned away from God and indulged themselves in idol worship and evil practices. Time and again God sent His prophets to warn the people of the spiritual catastrophe they would face if they did not turn back to Him. But the people remained locked in the shackles of sinfulness that directly pointed to eternal damnation. John’s Gospel explains in one short sentence, the Father’s final sacrifice, paying the ultimate price to release His people from their debt of sin against God, and defeat Satan once and for all- ^“For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life”-John 3:16

God saved His people , an unfaithful and sinful populace, from the jaws of eternal, spiritual death at an immense price. Humanity’s debt of sin was paid up in its entirety through the death of Jesus Christ, His only begotten Son, on the Cross. It was an act of love beyond compare, and every believer who even begins to comprehend the magnitude of this sacrifice must be transformed by this love to practice forgiveness in the way God taught us.

During His teaching ministry, Jesus had to devise different ways to help people understand God’s forgiveness, and His expectation that His people would similarly forgive one another.  To a question from Peter about how many times he should forgive his enemies, whether seven times would be a satisfactory record, Jesus doubled the digit to seventy seven—in other words—limitless! He immediately backed it up with the parable of the unforgiving servant who received great mercy from the king but did not treat his debtors in the same manner. When the king heard about this, the servant was duly punished for not forgiving others as he had been forgiven. Jesus concludes the story with a blunt and unmistakable warning  “This is how my heavenly Father will treat each of you unless you forgive your brother or sister from your heart.” Matthew 18:35

Having underlined this non-negotiable expectation, Jesus then helps us to understand how we should forgive those who act against us. In bits and pieces He painstakingly walks us through this process with quick stories, commands and finally by example. The prodigal son is our first example. The story ends on a happy note. The Father welcomes the errant son who has thrown away his fortunes and has returned in desperation, seeking his father’s pardon. The grace and mercy of the father is wholehearted. The past is forgiven –no questions asked. The son receives a red-carpet welcome. Along with this picture of what pure forgiveness looks like, we are also invited to see how unforgiveness lurks surreptitiously  under the cover of righteousness and respectability. The elder brother, a loyal son who has served his father dutifully through the many years that his brother wandered around wastefully, cannot not bear the shock of the royal welcome his father has prepared. His words and gestures are hostile. He cannot comprehend how his father did this for an undeserving son when his own loyalty had gone unnoticed, so to speak.

The biblical message is clear. When we forgive, we cannot recount past wrongs. We often tend to justify our position like the elder brother did, but that is offensive to God. Christ himself showed the way when he forgave the thief on the Cross and assured him a place in heaven that very day!

Having explained the essence of forgiveness, Jesus goes on to give us small tips on how to solve conflicts on the spot. Very often, when we have differences of opinion, especially with family members or close friends, we can save a precious relationship by reaching out in reconciliation immediately, even if we are the victims. In Matthew’s Gospel Jesus advices us in these lines—"Therefore, if you are offering your gift at the altar and there remember that your brother or sister has something against you, leave your gift there in front of the altar. First go and be reconciled to them; then come and offer your gift.” Mat 5:23-24. A delay always makes reconciliation much harder and finally impossible.

We also have to deal with habitual offenders whose behaviour patterns seem to be cast in iron. Jesus has clear advice for us when we face prolonged exploitation or abuse in physical or verbal form— “If your brother sins against you, go and tell him his fault, between you and him alone. If he listens to you, you have gained your brother.  But if he does not listen, take one or two others along with you, that every charge may be established by the evidence of two or three witnesses.  If he refuses to listen to them, tell it to the church. And if he refuses to listen even to the church, let him be to you as a Gentile and a tax collector-Mat 18:15-17. We are not meant to be victimized lifelong. Having said that,  we must sincerely  surrender our problem to God until we receive His answer.

The final and most valuable teaching of Christ on the why and how of forgiveness comes during the last moments of His life as He hung from the Cross. Raising His eyes to the Father He said, “Father, forgive them, for they do not know what they are doing.”-Luke 23:34. Had He looked at the people standing around the Cross instead, He would have recognised many who had scourged Him and spat at Him and stripped Him of His garments. Instead, He prayed to the Father to forgive His offenders, thus releasing them and all  humankind from the debt of this terrible crime.

If we deal with our adversaries eyeball to eyeball, we confront feelings of resentment and vengeance that spill over and destroy our mental and emotional equilibrium. It is only when we follow the Lord’s example and raise our eyes to God, placing all our trust in Him, and pray for our enemies, that we receive His grace and mercy in abundance. We experience the peace that He speaks of, and we understand that it is different from any worldly experience, just as He promised. 

The capacity to forgive is the hallmark of a true Christian believer. Forgiveness is not possible at a purely human level. It requires the grace of God to freely flow through us to those around us. This comes from a relationship with God that is deeply founded in faith, that stands above every other relationship in our lives. God’s Spirit sanctifies our entire being till we notice that our negative emotions have lost their sting. Instead, we experience genuine empathy and concern for those around us, whether enemy or friend. Circumstances may decide the frequency of our association with certain people, but the Holy Spirit will ensure that there is no place for malice or revenge or resentment in our hearts anymore.